


Too Human

by IshipALMOSTeverything (lizzielula05)



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Accidental Humanization, Bedwetting, Comforting Rose, Drunk Doctor, Embarassment, Gen, Male Desperation, Nightmares, Omorashi, Wetting, doctor who - Freeform, human doctor, not slash but there's feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 22:13:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12068007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzielula05/pseuds/IshipALMOSTeverything
Summary: A malfunction turns the Doctor into a proper human, but he finds that a human mind and body, and bladder, are just a bit weaker than he's used to.Warning for omorashi





	Too Human

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly just written to satisfy my need for Doctor Who omo (because there is honestly none wtf) but then some kinda plot happened so yeah,

The moment they landed, Rose knew something had gone wrong.

It was dark, for one. The lights had gone out, the TARDIS was totally silent except for her and the doctor. And the Doctor, for two, had emitted a rather a rather piteous noise upon landing, and was now as far as Rose could tell in the darkness, was unconsciousness on the floor.

"Doctor? Oh, god, Doctor, are you alright, please wake up," Rose pleaded, kneeling over his body.

The lights flickered to life in the TARDIS and simultaneously the Doctor jerked upright and looked over at the now startled Rose.

"Ugh," he exclaimed, "I feel absolutely terrible!"

"What is it? What's wrong?" Rose asked.

"I can't really explain it," said the Doctor looking as puzzled as his companion, "Just sort of, less, I suppose."

The Doctor began examining parts of himself, looking curiously at his hands and arms, as if making sure he were all there.

"It's strange," he remarked as his hands tracked down from his shoulders, reaffirming all of his body parts, "it's almost like I..oh, Oh no!"

"What? What's happened?!" Rose asked, concerned at the change in the Doctors usually cool demeanour.

"It's my hearts, or my heart rather," said the Doctor, trying and failing to detect a second heartbeat, "There's only one."

"What? How does that happen?"

"No idea, what's happened to the TARDIS?" asked the Doctor, looking around at his ship for the first time since landing."

"It was all dark when we landed," said Rose, "lights came on just a second ago, I dunno what happened."

"Well that makes two of us," said the Doctor, he stood up and started shining his screwdriver here and there around the ship, "You say she was all dark just a second ago?"

Rose nodded, "She woke up just the same time you did."

"And just like me she didn't wake up quite right either."

"How do you mean?" asked Rose, looking around the ship with worry.

"She's dead," said the Doctor bluntly. "Well sort of, she's not herself anyhow," he added quickly, seeing the horror on Rose's face.

"It's too quiet," Rose remarked. The ship had gone silent. The lights were on and everything, but the constant sort of buzzing, that hum of life that she'd grown so used to had ceased to exist.

"Quite right," replied the Doctor, as though he'd followed her exact train of thought, "But I'll bring her back."

"Doctor what about you? You just said you felt terrible, and you've only got one heart all of a sudden, don't you think you should see to yourself first?"

"No, whatever's happened to me, it's the same thing that's happened to the ship, if I fix one, the other one should sort itself out, I think."

"You think? You're working off a guess? You could be dieing!"

"Could be, yeah, not much else I can do, Rose."

"Why couldn't we just have a nice holiday?"

"Oi! I took you to that resort on Venus in a couple thousand years, that was nice, yeah?"

"Doctor, there was a sea monster in the pool."

"Eh," he replied, like she had a point but really a sea monster wasn't that big of a deal, and besides he had more important things to tend to.

"Once, just once couldn't we have a normal trip!" Rose was still going on.

"Ha! Normal?! With me? Not a chance, Oh wait a minute, look here,"

"What'd you find?"

"Something normal," said the Doctor, "These lights, they're not the TARDIS lights, these are regular fluorescent light bulbs, not just that though, these walls are made of plaster, and plastic!" He said, naming each new material with a certain amount of spite.

He turned swiftly to the control panel in the centre, pushing a several buttons in a sequence. White smoke rose from the floor beneath, electricity crackled. 

 "What did that do?" asked Rose.

"Absolutely nothing."

"But I saw it, what is that smoke?"

"That's what I mean! It didn't do anything except some sort of dramatic affect that's supposed to mean something, only it doesn't. Nothing fantastic or extraordinary or "Spock" as you would say happened at all, it's completely ordinary by your standards."

"My standards?"

"Human standards, that is."

"Wait, you said that whatever's happened to the ship also happened to you? Does that mean that you're...normal? You're human?"

"Precisely, excellent diagnosis, Rose," he said, once again feeling his singular heartbeat with renewed curiosity, "Human, how odd, funny little things, aren't you?"

"Well what's the difference then? Between you and us?" asked Rose.

"Not a lot, except everything about people seems quicker, less efficient, short lifespan, you have to make up for it somehow, for example as of right now I am ravenously hungry. Rose, would you like to accompany me to a proper dinner?" He asked, offering his arm.

Rose smiled, "I'd be delighted, where are we anyway?"

"Why, London, I did say I was taking you to visit your mother. And this never seems to happen anywhere but London."

"What about the ship?" Rose asked, taking his arm as they left the TARDIS.

"Hmm? Oh, she'll be fine, this has happened before, it's the chameleon circuit, the cloaking device acting up again. Usually it's just stuck on the police box but sometimes it works a bit too well and starts making major modifications to fit in the environment. Removing any trace of alien tech. I'll be able to get us back to normal in, oh, about two days, but this is first time that brilliant little device has ever gone so far as too change me along with the ship, this is the first time I can be fully human. And I'm gonna enjoy it, Rose."

"Human," Rose repeated softly to herself, "Really human."

"What was that?"

"It's nothin, just that, now we're sort of the same. I don't feel like there's such a big difference between us," Rose looked at up the Doctor and saw him for the first time not as something incredible, but something attainable.

"Well don't get too attached to the idea, I'm still the same old Doctor up here," he tapped his temple, "and I've still seen things no human could live with."

"Course, yeah, I know. Let's just do as you said then, let's enjoy it."

They had a pleasant dinner, the doctor ordered perhaps a bit too much wine, delighting in the new sensation of drunkenness. He was basically incoherent by the time Rose decided she'd better take him home.

"Come on now, up we get," she said, supporting his side as they stood up from the table, "I'm so sorry about him," she told the waiter, "He's not used to drinking."

She tipped the waiter generously and made her way out of the restaurant, Doctor in tow. He was babbling on about this or that, she didn't really listen but caught a few fragmented sentences in the drunken ramblings: "So terrible to see, you couldn't dream it, and I miss them, I never talk about them, do I? I haven't left my coat, have I? Oh no, I'm wearing it, of course, how daft, look at sky! So pretty, especially that star there, it rains diamonds! And I've been to that star and that star and that star and that star..., but the things I saw that day, everyday since, terribly strange thing being human, innit? I'm not even sure what to feel,"

"Yeah, love, I know. We're almost back now," she spoke in a comforting voice, it was really odd to be the one comforting the Doctor. Everything else he was in control, not when it came to this.

They arrived back at the TARDIS, almost immediately the Doctor collapsed onto the floor, sound asleep within seconds.

"Poor thing must be exhausted," Rose muttered as she tucked a jacket around him. She paused for just a second to smooth back his hair a bit, and was a bit shocked when he leaned into the gesture. So she just sat there for a while, gently stroking his hair back like he was a very small boy, "Goodnight, Doctor," she whispered when exhaustion caught up with her as well, "I don't think you're going to enjoy being human so much in the morning."

The next morning Rose, who'd been a bit more responsible with her alcohol consumption, went to gently awake the Doctor, armed with a cup of black coffee.

"Doctor?" She called out in a sing-song voice, "wakey-wakey."

She approached his curled up form right where she'd left him on the floor and was immediately flooded with concern when she saw tears flowing down his face.

He couldn't be crying, not him, not ever. Yet there he was, and to make matters worse he whimpered. A sound Rose never thought she hear from him.

She flung down the coffee and ran to his side, "Doctor! Doctor, wake up," she pleaded, slapping him lightly.

He came to slowly, first he looked bewildered, then realization dawned on him and he scrambled as far from Rose as the wall next to him would allow, hastily wiping the tears of his face.

"What is it, tell me what's wrong!" Rose demanded. Terrified at how afraid the Doctor looked.

The doctor inhaled shakily, "The alcohol must've, I mean, I don't usually have dreams.."

"Dreams? Was it a nightmare?"

"No! Doesn't matter anyway, you lot aren't really the best at controlling your emotions, the body just sort of does what it needs, no controlling the thing."

"Yeah, speaking of," said Rose, gesturing downwards.

"Speaking of what? Good lord! What have I done?" Instantly the Doctor was on his feet, surprisingly quick considering how hungover he was, looking in shock at his trousers, "Well this is a whole new level of humiliation," Said the doctor, a blush spreading hot across his face.

"Don't be embarrassed, it happens," Rose assured him, "To everyone, I don't reckon there's a single bloke out there who never wet himself after a night of drinking."

"Not me!" Said the Doctor, "Not once in over 900 years, now one bottle of wine and my motor functions resemble that of a toddler. How did this happen?"

"Lots of reasons, drinking, not using the loo before bed, nightmares..."

The doctor gave her a sharp look,

"Or whatever," said Rose, "You know it's different when you're the one who's always asking questions, it's nice."

"Yes, I'm sure this is just lovely for you, ugh, I'm just utterly soaked, look at me! No, don't look at me, I forgot how fast the human bladder works, you wouldn't think I'd forget, traveling with you."

"There's no need for that now, come on, go get dressed, I'll whip us up some breakfast."

Head bowed, the doctor sort of slunk away, with as much confidence as a man in piss soaked pants could muster.

"And Doctor?" Rose called after him, "Good morning by the way."

"That," replied the Doctor, "it most definitely isn't."

                     ***

  
"There we are!" Said Rose as the Doctor reappeared looking drier but just as grumpy, "all cleaned up, then are we?"

"Rose, please," said the Doctor, groaning, "spare whatever shred of pride I have left and never mention this again."

"Fine, but just let me say one thing, it's not your fault, alright? You said yourself yesterday that you've seen things that no human could live with, and now you are human it's alright if everything's a bit much, I think you're handling things pretty well anyhow. Most men would've wet themselves upright if they'd been through half the things you have."

The doctor nodded once, sharp and curt, far more somber today than usual.

"Alright now my lips are sealed," Rose promised, "Hungry?"

"Famished," Said the doctor, the spark in his eyes somewhat reignited.

"Good."

It was a quiet breakfast, neither of them could really find words after last nights and this mornings events. There was an awkward tension in the air, the Doctor seemed to be avoiding Rose's eyes at all costs. Rose wanted more than anything to reach out and comfort him but she doubted he'd let her while conscious.

"Well," said the Doctor standing up from the table, I think I've had quite enough of being human. Let's say we fix the TARDIS and get out of here."

"How do you fix this exactly?"

"It's a fairly simple process; the TARDIS is dead but there's still a faint residual signal from our last jump. If I can re-route it, I should be able to transport us back the the place we were last and everything will go back to normal, where were we last anyhow? It was that Dog World, wasn't it? Marvellous place, that."

"But what if it happens again," Rose asked.

The Doctors expression got hard, "It won't. I'm removing the cloaking device so this never happens again," Said the Doctor, an edge to his voice.

"Oh, come on," Rose persisted, "it's not that bad being a person, besides you're the one who's always going on about how incredible we are."

"That you are, the whole mad lot of you. But it's best observed from a distance, only stepping in when there's a mess to be cleaned up. It's the equivalent of watching a toddler. You marvel when it learns to walk, but you certainly don't want to be one."

"A toddler?" Rose asked, in a slightly hurt tone, "Is that all we are to you? Am I just some stupid kid that you get to watch stumble about and feel so superior?"

"You know, Rose, your case isn't gonna be helped by a temper tantrum," the Doctor said sort of offhand, while tinkering with bits of the ship.

Rose didn't reply, instead just stalked out of the TARDIS, leaving to Doctor to do as he pleased.

  
After a nice cup of tea with her mum, Rose felt a bit more civil towards her Doctor, but still didn't fancy being in the same room as him. Several hours later, around 4:00 p.m. she decided she better head back. The Doctor wouldn't leave without her but who knows what sort of human antics he'd been up to.

She said goodbye to Jackie, promising to call more often, and set out in the direction of the TARDIS.

When she opened the door she had to duck as immediately as an unidentified flying object was hurled in that general direction, shattering against the door she'd just come through. He hadn't noticed her arrived yet, and Rose could hear him yelling things like, "Stupid, useless piece of machinery! Absolutely useless!"

"Well look who's having a temper tantrum now," she called from the doorway. The Doctor turned towards her, he looked awful. He looked pale and shaky, there were bags under his eyes.

Instantly Rose went from a "serves you right" mentality to comforting one.

"What's wrong?" She asked him, "I've never heard you talk about the TARDIS like that."

"The TARDIS? No, the TARDIS is fine, it's this," he tapped his forehead, "this stupid brain. I can't get anything done, I can't think, I can't. Now see this here? My hand is stuck there. I've got to hold this piece until I enter a very precise calculation. I've worked out this equation a dozen times, it takes seconds usually, but now I can't! And I'm stuck here holding this until I can. It's been hours!"

The Doctor looked on the verge of collapse, Rose ran to him, "Oh Doctor I'm so sorry, I should've been here, I should've been here to help you."

The Doctor started to protest, but gave up on that when his knees started to buckle.

"Just wait just a minute, I'll be right back," Rose assured, leaving and returning a moment later with a chair, "there, you can sit down."

The doctor collapsed gratefully, one hand still holding fast to the mechanism.

"Have you eaten anything today?" Rose asked him.

"Breakfast," he said.

"Doctor, that was nearly ten hours ago, you're human, you need to eat," Rose chided him.

"I can't let go of this. If I let go I'm trapped like this," the Doctor told her.

"Would that be so bad? To stay human? You could live with me, we'd have a nice normal life."

The Doctor shook his head, "I can't do that, Rose, I told you, I've seen things no human can live with, and I meant it. With this mind, with human emotions I'd be dead within a year, or insane, well, more insane than I already am."

"And that's saying something, don't let go then, alright? I'll get you some coffee then you can figure out this equation."

The Doctor nodded, "I'll need a pen and paper," he said, "to work it out."

"Got it," Rose said, "Back in jif."

She returned quickly with a notepad and pencil and a cup of black coffee, hopefully he'd actually get to drink it this time.

"These are for you," she said, setting down the pencil and pad, "and I want you to drink all of this," she continued, placing the mug in his free hand, "Every drop, you need to stay awake, not to mention you're probably dehydrated, I should get you some water too."

The Doctors thighs clenched together at the prospect of water, and he looked at the coffee with apprehension. Rose was staring him down, hands on hips, he took a small sip to appease her but groaned internally as the liquid touched his lips.

That satisfied Rose for the time being, "It's good, yeah? Lots of folks can't function without their morning coffee,"

"It's fine," he said, tensely.

"Well, you develop a taste for it, I guess. I'll get you that water, and want at least half that coffee gone by the time I get back."

He glared in disgust at the liquid in the mug, but Rose would have his head if he didn't drink it. Steeling his nerves, he shut his eyes and swallowed as much as could in one go. The flavour wasn't a problem, neither was caffeine, it was just the effect of liquid on his body. He'd already been standing there for four or five hours without any breaks, and he had yet to solve the problem before he could go. The only thing he wasn't sure he could solve the problem with his current distraction. He shifted his hips around and took another gulp as Rose reappeared.

"That's more like it," she said as he downed to mug, "now just drink this water too and we'll have you back to normal in no time. Any luck with the equation so far?"

"Not much," he said, "I've just written it down."

Rose looked at the notepad, "Well that doesn't seem so hard, least ways I've seen you work out more complicated ones."

"It should be relatively simple, but that was when I was the Doctor, I'll be able to do it, it'll just take a bit longer."

"How long?"

"Oh, maybe two hours?"

"That's not so bad."

"Nope, not so bad at all," said the Doctor, and it wouldn't be, as long as he could hold it that long.

"Well I'll leave you to it, shout if you need anything," Rose said, "and keep drinking!" she insisted.

The Doctor assured her he would but gingerly set the glass of water aside as soon as she had gone.

He set the pencil lead on the paper, intent on getting work done, but lifted it up again almost immediately. He couldn't focus, with Rose gone for the moment his need to piss occupied his every thought, he couldn't hide it now. He felt that unique pressure in his lower abdomen. A sort of weight, or tug, or tingle. Whatever it was it sent shivers up his spine with every shift in position. He was vaguely aware that the pencil tapped anxiously on the paper. Then there was the glass of water. Condensation trickled down the sides of the glass. Every drop seemed a mockery. The biggest slap in the face was how incredibly thirsty he was despite his dilemma. The cool, clear liquid looked so inviting, yet so sinister, the dryness in his throat begging him to drink his own poison.

Lost in his thoughts, unaware of his body, the doctors legs twisted together as much as was humanly possible. He sat bent at an awkward to try and hold in everything and he couldn't stop moving. Shifting and fidgeting every few seconds, and each movement jolting his bladder more painfully than before. It was in this state that Rose found him.

"Are you alright?" Asked Rose, who'd just come to check on him, "you look like you're in agony, and you haven't touched your water."

The Doctor gave Rose a look of pleading, willing her to understand without words. When it was clear that wasn't going to happen he reluctantly spoke in a uncomfortable clipped tone, "I can't."

"Don't be silly, course you can," Rose insisted, she picked up the glass and shoved it at him.

Instinctively the Doctor gripped with his free hand, feeling the cool wetness overwhelmed his bladder and he felt a momentary lapse in control. The glass slipped from his hand and shattered on the floor as he gripped his crotch in a panic.

Rose stifled a giggle, "Oh that's why, you need the loo, don't you?"

"That much should be obvious, I've been here six hours and had nothing but black coffee," stated the Doctor as calmly as he could. He had regained control of himself for the time being.

"How close are you to being finished?"

"Haven't even started," said the Doctor, hopelessly, "Can't focus like this."

"Do you think you'll be able to to finish before..." Rose trailed off, not wanting to voice that last part. The situation had gone from amusing to terribly awkward.

"Probably not, with a human brain and a human bladder, I'd say the odds are against me," he groaned as sharp spike of acute desperation shot through him, "Very against me."

Rose bit her lip, quickly realizing that there was only one way this situation would end, "Well don't hurt yourself, you're human, it's very easy. Just relax and put your mind on the problem. Whatever happens happens."

The Doctor nodded, it seemed as good a strategy as any. He didn't much fancy the idea of pissing himself, especially in front of Rose, he'd already wet himself this morning. When you're drunk and asleep it's almost excusable but when you're fully conscious it's a different matter. It was inevitable, even so he'd try to fight it.

Picking up the pencil again he set his focus on the task at hand, and very carefully unwound his legs.

Rose watched him with fascination. She could practically hear his mind working, every now and again he'd shift in his seat or make a small noise of complaint in the back of his throat.

Rose set herself to the task of picking up the shattered glass at their feet. She worked slowly, observing him the all the while.

It hadn't been fifteen minutes when she heard the Doctor gasp, she watched him look down at his lap, shocked, but no making no effort to stop what was happening. She followed his gaze downwards and at first she saw nothing, then right at the seam the material turned a very dark colour. She watched, fascinated as the darker patch spread lazily all across and underneath his right thigh, and then snaked it's way down his calf. The material clung to his skin as it became saturated. The telltale darkness spread across his crotch and down the left leg too, dripping obscenely onto the floor.

Rose looked up to see the Doctors reaction to all of this and saw that his head was thrown back. His eyes were shut whether to block out the feeling or revel in it, she didn't know. All the tension left his body as he pissed himself. His mouth was slightly agape, as he moaned quietly at the sensation.

Finally after what seemed like ages he stopped going and snapped out of his haze. The first thing he did, quite by accident was look Rose square in the face. Pissing his trousers was fine but brief eye contact and he felt his face light up like a bonfire. He dropped his gaze, muttering some semblance of an apology and inwardly cursing humans and their ceaseless blushing.

"It's alright," Rose assured him, smiling, "get you a towel of something."  
She hastily exited the room feeling rather breathless, though she didn't know why.

It took the Doctor another three hours to work it out. During which he wet himself once more, not all at once, but slowly and drawn out, ensuring there wasn't a dry spot anywhere on his trousers which were now several shades darker.

Finally finished, he input the solved equation and removed his aching hand from the machine. Sighing with relief as a faint buzzing noise could be heard as the TARDIS started coming back to life.  

After getting changed, he and Rose ordered in, as he didn't really feel up to going out after the day's events.

They had a good laugh over the the pizza man's bewildered look at the police box and for a bit just felt like regular people.

"So when will the TARDIS be ready to fly again?" Rose asked.

"Soon, about nine hours I should say. The whole processing, well process is slow after she's been humanized."

"We should get some rest then," Rose said, yawning.

She noticed the look of worry that flashed across the Doctors face at the mention of sleep.

"You do need sleep every night, Doctor," she reminded him.

"I can't do that again Rose, I can't control where my mind goes when I'm asleep," the Doctor said, an edge of panic to his voice.

"What if you stay right beside me?" she asked, "Will that help? If I'm right there next to you?"

"Are you suggesting that we sleep together," asked the Doctor incredulously.

"Not in any sort of way other than sleeping," she assured him, "I mean it's just so someone can be there for you. A friend."

After a lot of convincing, the Doctor agreed that it wasn't such a terrible idea and after about six trips to the loo he crawled into a bed with Rose.

Rose awoke the next morning to the sound of the TARDIS. The bed beside her was empty, and quite dry thankfully.

"Are you alright?" Rose asked, when she found the Doctor.

"Hmm? Me? Oh, fit as a fiddle, two hearts going strong," he said, grinning, "Everything's all sorted out with the TARDIS and we're back on Dog World."

"Did you deactivate the cloaking device?" Rose asked. She didn't think the Doctor would much enjoy repeating the last few days experiences.

"Everything's all sorted out," he repeated, "Now, where to next?"

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Well I hope you liked it, any kind of feedback is welcome.   
> Also apparently this same sort of turning human thing (minus the omo) happens in season three, I was not aware of that when I wrote this fic, so that's kinda cool


End file.
